Losing My Resolve...
So it's dribbling slowly away: my resolve. I think that because I have it in my brain that I'm doing something about my weight that my perception of myself has started to change. Good you say, it should be. However, it's not good. It's very very bad. It means that on Wednesday when this thing starts I'm going to be royally screwed. I was at a training thing for a self-defense class I volunteer for (shameless plug for Impact Self Defense, an amazing adrenalized full-contact 6 week class that prepares you mentally and physically to defend yourself or talk yourself out of a situation. It's incredibly empowering to find out how strong you are mentally and physically) ANYWAY, back to the issue here...I was sitting in the dojo where we were training and I caught sight of myself in the mirror and I didn't
recognize myself, I looked nice, I looked good. Of course I was looking at myself from the neck up but still this is not helpful, how can I throw my body a curve ball just two days from now and expect that my brain will be strong enough?
The book told me that part of my preparation should be to get all of my cravings out of the way before I start and so today for breakfast I ate my seemingly simple diet nemesis. It's something that doesn't seem so bad but can be detrimental to a diet. Ah the lovely Starbucks chai tea and Manhattan bagel salt bagel with cream cheese...ooh how delicious and terrible you are! I love you but I can't have you for the next two months. I took a picture so it would last longer but I find it doesn't.
You say but Kirsten, did they only give you one half of the bagel? No, they didn't, they gave me a whole bagel but I ate half of it unceremoniously in the car on the way home. This is why I'm changing my relationship with food. Now back to editing this GORGEOUS boudoir shoot from this weekend. I wish I could share buuuut it's under wraps until the lovely couple get married!!
Until we meet again,
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